St Patrick's Hat Tricks
by A. A. Aaron
Summary: Hannibal and Clarice help Ardelia solve a case. There's a Cryptic Crossword bonus..Submitted for March Quest. (Complete)


St. Patrick's Hat Tricks (in response to March 2003 Quest)  
"What is your prognosis, Dr. Lecter? Do you think she has a chance?" Former FBI Special Agent Clarice Starling kept an eye on Ardelia Mapp as she spoke with her mate, Dr. Hannibal Lecter.  
  
"It's highly unlikely," said Dr. Lecter. "I've never seen anyone recover after being beaten so severely. She probably was not expecting such a savage attack from an old friend."  
  
"That was her mistake. Friend or not, I don't hold back. I'll do whatever is needed to win."  
  
Ardelia had been silent during this exchange. She now reached over the board and laid her king down.   
  
"All right, you hot-shots! I might as well resign since I'm down a rook and two pawns. But you owe me a return match, Clare." Ardelia popped a canapé into her mouth and took another sip of her beer. "My turn now to pick the game. I'm looking for the name of a popular 1991 movie . . . No, it's not that one," she added as the others reacted. "Wait till I've finished.  
  
"It's two words - a three-letter word followed by a five-letter word. And the first four letters of the title are repeated as the last four letters." Ardelia smiled inwardly as Clarice and Hannibal devoted full concentration to the problem. Clarice was first to come up with the answer. "Probably because it's unlikely you ever saw the movie, Hannibal," Clarice pointed out.  
  
"No matter," said Hannibal. "I still should have spotted the big hint generously provided by Ardelia."   
  
There was a brief silence; then Hannibal said to Clarice, "Would this be a good time for you to unveil what you've been working on so clandestinely the past few days?"   
  
Clarice smiled a bit guiltily. "Well, I was saving it for St. Patrick's Day but I guess this is close enough. It's a cryptic crossword puzzle I made up for the occasion. Wait a second and I'll get it."  
  
She left the room. Ardelia raised her eyebrows, and Dr. Lecter answered her unspoken question. "A cryptic crossword puzzle is comprised of cryptic clues. A cryptic clue is comprised of two parts: a straight definition and a cryptic part that includes some form of word play. For example, the cryptic clue might be: What's a ten-letter word meaning, 'Give elderly Mafia boss weapons and you'll have a battle'? The answer in this case is ARMAGEDDON."  
  
Ardelia looked puzzled for a few moments. Then her brow cleared. "Okayyy . . . The cryptic portion breaks down into ARM AGED DON. Very good. This could be fun."  
  
Clarice returned with two copies of her puzzle. "I was thinking of entering it in the Visions Quest for March but I'd need some sort of story to go along with it."  
  
"Don't you have to be a member of the group to post?" asked Ardelia.  
  
"What makes you think I'm not?" countered Clarice.  
  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
Clarice's St. Patrick's Day Puzzle  
  
Q_Q_Q_Q_Q_1_Q_Q_Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q_2___________Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q_Q_Q___Q_Q_Q_3_Q  
Q_Q_Q_4_________5_Q___Q  
Q_6_Q___Q____Q___Q___Q  
7__________Q__8_________  
Q___Q___Q_9__Q___Q___Q  
Q___Q_10__________Q_Q_Q  
Q___Q_Q_Q___Q_Q_Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q11________ _Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q_Q_Q__Q_Q_Q_Q_Q  
  
Note: Each 'Q' represents a blocked square. Each numbered or blank location represents an empty square. Each word in the solution contains five letters.  
Across  
  
2. Goods shipped by auto depart  
  
4. Shine in last half of jungle morning   
  
7. Genre: Tossed salad  
  
8. Inexperienced Verdi composed in English  
  
10. Direction shown by thorn masher  
  
11. To damage edger is a sin   
Down  
  
1. Pigment between gray and grey  
  
3. Agree never to hide jade  
  
4. Pine for ever lost olive  
  
5. Parade when St. Patrick's Day occurs  
  
7. Go, of course, where the flag is  
  
8._Emerald shows initial good resale experience ending now  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
Ardelia and Hannibal worked on the puzzle in silence for ten minutes. Then Clarice remarked, "Ardy, you had some other reason for accepting our standing invitation, didn't you. I mean, besides having the opportunity to participate in the extravagant lifestyle of a TV executive?"  
  
Ardelia thought back over the past years. Five years ago her best friend and fellow FBI Special Agent, Clarice Starling, had disappeared, and Ardelia had been certain that Dr. Hannibal (the Cannibal) Lecter was responsible. Ardelia had devoted herself to tracking him down, finding out the gruesome details of Clarice's fate, and destroying the monster. When she discovered that Clarice had gone willingly with Dr. Lecter, Ardelia clung to the notion that Clarice must have been brainwashed. Later evidence showed that Clarice retained command of her faculties and of her value system, and that Dr. Lecter, whatever he had been, was no longer a threat to the innocent. Ardelia's own value system shifted from black-and-white to shades of gray. She accepted Clarice back as her best friend and developed a cautious tolerance for Dr. Lecter that he reciprocated. When Dr. Lecter was declared to be officially dead, she felt no compulsion to reveal his new identity as Dr. Lucifer Fell. Through an unlikely set of circumstances, and with a little assistance from Ardelia, Dr. Fell and Clarice had become TV producers.  
  
Ardelia's thoughts returned to the present. She had accepted the standing invitation to visit Clarice and Hannibal at their Long Island mansion. Ardelia realized that she had been hoping to find answers to some work-related questions, and flushed slightly. "I did have something in mind," she admitted, "but after thinking it over I felt that it would be rude to bring my work along on a social occasion. Forgive me?"  
  
"Cut the apologies, girlfriend, and let's hear your problem. We law-abiding citizens are always willing to lend a helping hand to the FBI."  
  
"Well, if you insist," said Ardelia.  
  
"For the past several months the FBI has been setting up an operation against an organization that has been kidnapping young women and selling them into sex slavery in Asia. It appears that western women rate a premium in that part of the world. It's been running well for them. They've been able to hide their harvest in the large number of women that disappear in New York and Los Angeles each year.   
  
"The FBI operation involved synchronized attacks on the ring's main headquarters on both coasts. Secrecy was obviously essential; we were determined to capture the key leaders of the organization. Five minutes before our attacks were scheduled, we intercepted a phone call between the leader of the west coast operation and his boss of whose existence we were unaware. The West Coast leader was telling the boss a riddle his twelve-year-old son had told him that apparently applied to the boss in some way. We heard the riddle, and then the signal for our attacks. We were successful but the West Coast leader was killed, and he was the only one we had who could identify the boss. We believe the boss is one of those we have been considering as possible lower level suspects, but there are too many for us to investigate in depth."  
  
Ardelia showed them the list. It started off:  
  
A. Aaron  
Jon Appleton  
Charles Botvinniik  
. . .  
The page ended with:  
  
. . .  
Bob Smith  
G. G. Turner  
Marcel Twain  
  
The next page continued with  
  
Sam Ulrich  
Harmon Underby  
. . .  
The list ended with  
  
. . .  
Carlos Valdez  
Tony Wilde  
  
"This doesn't seem to be much help," said Clarice, "Can you tell us what the riddle was?"  
  
"Sure. Here it is:  
  
A man goes down to the docks to pick up his newly imported foreign car. The customs official announces he is there to collect Uncle Sam's share of the cost. What time is it?  
  
Ardelia was pessimistic. "I feel foolish now, passing this along to you. Even if you can figure out the time from the riddle, I don't see how it can help identify the gang boss."   
  
"We'll worry about that when we get to it," said Clarice.  
That night, Ardelia occupied the largest guest bedroom while Hannibal and Clarice remained in the master bedroom. Clarice was making some intriguing suggestions when Hannibal suddenly announced, "It's Audi Duty time!"  
  
"Is that what they're calling it now?" asked Clarice.  
  
"No, no. It's the answer to the riddle. And it's also the answer to the identity of the gang boss"  
  
"Shall we waken Ardelia and let her know?"  
  
"Not if you have some other ideas."  
  
She did.  
At breakfast the following morning, Hannibal gave Ardelia the answer to the riddle. "And how does this help us identify the boss?" she asked.  
  
"You're too young to remember the Howdy Doody Show," said Hannibal, "but the real star of that show was Buffalo Bob a.k.a. Bob Smith. And the name Bob Smith is on the list you showed us. Not the same Bob Smith, of course, but the gang boss."  
  
Clarice was bemused. "Somehow the thought of Hannibal Lecter watching the Howdy Doody Show boggles the mind."  
  
"It was very educational," said Hannibal, defensively.  
  
Ardelia smiled at Hannibal and said, "I owe you one. May I nominate you for a civilian medal from the FBI?"  
  
Dr. Lecter shuddered slightly. "Help me assemble the answers to all unanswered questions, and we'll call it square,"   
  
And she did, in the Appendix.  
St. Patrick's Hat Tricks - Appendix  
The movie title in which the first four letters are repeated as the last four letters is HOT SHOTS.  
  
The solution of the Cryptic Crossword Puzzle is  
Q_Q_Q_Q_Q_G_Q_Q_Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q_C_A_R_G_O_Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q_Q_Q_E_Q_Q_Q_G_Q  
Q_Q_Q_G_L_E_A_M_Q_R_Q  
Q_G_Q_R_Q_N_Q_A_Q_E_Q   
G_R_E_E_N_Q_G_R_E_E_N  
Q_E_Q_E_Q_G_Q_C_Q_N_Q  
Q_E_Q_N_O_R_T_H_Q_Q_Q  
Q_N_Q_Q_Q_E_Q_Q_Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q_G_R_E_E_D_Q_Q_Q  
Q_Q_Q_Q_Q_N_Q_Q_Q_Q_Q  
Seven of the words in the solved puzzle are the word GREEN. That meets the requirements of the March 2003 Vision Quest.  
  
The explanations of the clues are:  
  
Across  
  
2. CARGO. CAR + GO (Goods shipped by auto depart)  
  
4. GLEAM. JunGLE + a,m. (Shine in last half of jungle morning)   
  
7. GREEN. Anagram (Genre: Tossed salad}  
  
8. GREEN. Translation of Verdi. (Inexperienced Verdi composed in English)   
  
10. NORTH. Anagram (Direction shown by thorn masher)  
  
11. GREED. Anagram. Refers to seven deadly sins. (To damage edger is a sin)   
Down  
  
1. GREEN. Refers to location in dictionary. (Pigment between gray and grey)  
  
3. GREEN. Hidden word.: aGREE Never (Agree never to hide jade)  
  
4. GREEN. EverGREEN loses Ever (Pine for ever lost olive)  
  
5. MARCH. Two definitions (Parade when St. Patrick's Day occurs)  
  
7. GREEN. Refers to golf course. 'Go' is the straight definition. (Go, of course, where the flag is)  
  
8.GREEN. Initials_(Emerald shows initial good resale experience ending now) 


End file.
